Wednesday, September 12, 2007

In other terrifying news ...

Ajit Agarkar is in South Africa for the 20-20 world cup.

*shudder shudder*

So Remember:

  • Keep all heavy objects as far away from the couch as possible. Remember, Agarkar will not buy you a new TV set.
  • Keep your fingers (and fingernails) away from your eyes, hair and veins. Gouged eyes are hard to replace, and Agarkar will not help you find new hair. He doesn’t care for torn veins either.
  • If you’re pregnant: Woman Please! Don’t do this to your unborn child! And more importantly don't you know the wee baby will make you pay for it during labour.
  • If you have kids - Protect them. Shield them. There is time to save them yet!
  • If you have a weak heart, this will be considered as a suicide attempt, and that is a criminal offence.
  • Visit your doctor before the game. Get a prescription for sedatives. Ask the doctor to get one too.
  • Practice before the game. Watch reruns of the England series.
  • Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts.
  • If all else fails blame the ISI. Or Bush. Or the Left. Or Salman Khan.

People of India unite in therapy.


Update: Zimbabwe just beat Australia! Zimbabwe!! I love it! I love it! I love it!

12 comments:

Ronak said...

That was superb...

People of India unite in therapy !!!

Dusty Fog said...

Agarkar got to the fastest 50 one day wickets....scored a test 100 I believe...leave him be...and this is one form of therapy too..acknowledge...accept...and a resigned sigh....does wonders....: )

Pri said...

omg will people get over that fastest 50 and that one test match in adelaide? i have always hated agarkar. he along with bucknor is one of those specimens that you just cannot get rid of. i hear pathan jr and pathan jr jr are playing. awww bhai bhai team mein.

Dusty Fog said...

apologies Pri...: (
apologies Neha...: (...and they said only women scorned behaved this way....PHEW...!!!

Bit Hawk said...

Hey come on, how could you say such mean things about Agarkar! He is perhaps the only bowler who can bowl well on either side of the wicket and keeps the batsmen guessing! And he is a genuine match winner, but keeps us guessing which side he will win the match for! :))

Anonymous said...

Brilliant

burf said...

it cant be true it cant be true

oh! Lord

Gary said...

I will pick Salman Khan, and he did it again against NZ..lol..Don't know if you ever heard of the Marathi mafia. They are known to the outsiders as the BCCI.
Sorry if I sound biased, but there is no other reason why he is still there.

Neha said...

pri: thank you! finally some sense, where wld cricket be without the likes of you and me!?

bithawk: damn and i thought he was just a screw up!

gary: you're right, it does sound biased. see by your standards, i fit right in with the marathi mafia.

childwoman said...

I loved this post...I almost got a heartattack when Agarkar was included....

Ronak said...

I am awaiting a brilliant post on the recent performance of the Indian Cricket Team.... Praises should also flow in at the same speed shouldnt they ???

Anonymous said...

ok i admit ajit isnt a good bowler but u dont have much options either... like who will u have in ur team??